This has been a tough week with two major disappointments.
One, a project that I thought was going to change thousands of lives has come to an end-for now. I'm working hard to not beat myself up for not better discerning God's will and timing. I sunk a significant amount of money and I have only myself to blame. So, the personal and financial 'costs' greatly taught me that God is in control and He orders things to glorify His kingdom the way He sees fit. And yet another chapter in "My agenda vs. God's Will"......
Two, I signed the papers to retain my first grader another year. I held back from being a complete blubbering idiot in front of Hannah's teacher, but there is a complete peace that the right decision was made. I so wanted to believe that Hannah's heart surgery complications wouldn't impact her learning, but it has. Complications and recovery times from all three heart surgeries set her back six months developmentally. I do consider Hannah one of the fortunate complex heart patients-many of the others have significant lifelong issues.
Hebrews 11:1 is one of my signature verses. "Faith is being sure of what you hope for in the evidence of things unseen." God knows the outcomes of these disappointments. I do not yet see what's ahead, but I trust the One who does. That's what allows me to be sad for a short time, but then I can wholeheartedly accept God's will.
Live Out Loud ladies!
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5 comments:
Lynn...my heart goes out and my prayers go up.
I can think of nothing more devasting to a mother than the very things that affect her child. Especially, the mother-daughter relationship.
God obviously has very big plans for Hannah. She has been through so much at such a young age. I'm mindful of a phrase Beth Moore used in her latest book: Get Out Of That Pit. I paraphrase...
Have you ever considered that you were not picked ON but that you were picked OUT.
This phrase makes me think of Hannah. I believe that she has been picked out by God. What a wonderful blessing to be in the sight of her Father.
As far as projects go...well, maybe, He is bringing this experience with Hannah as a reminder of what's more important...your ministry as a mother.
His ways are not our ways...
You know these words. You know your God. Praying for you and yours, my sister.
Lynn, my heart and prayers go out for you as well. It is wonderful that you are reminded of Hebrews 11:1 and can trust God with the outcome of your disappointments.
As Randee says,
"Have you ever considered that you were not picked ON but that you were picked OUT."
I also believe and like to remind myself and my husband whenever disappointments come our way.
Nothing is wasted and is used for much greater purposes then what we can even begin to comprehend.
Lynn, how humbling and inspiring to read your words of disappointment and yet trust and faith in God, and how that trust keeps sadness just a brief interlude in your life. Still, I'm sorry that the project you worked on so long and hard isn't meant to come to fruition at this time. My prayers that God will show you the path and purpose for all that you've learned and worked on.
My oldest son was held back in first grade, and didn't have a specific reason like Hannah for his reading delay. He told me later that it bothered him for a long time, but when he got to high school he really loved being older than everyone else in his class. Being the first one able to drive was quite the coup. And of course he developed lifelong friendships he may never have had if he'd moved up with his original class. God bless little Hannah and you for all you've gone through, and may this next school year bring her wonderful friendships and a love of learning at the perfect pace for her.
Lynn, you truly are an inspiration. Not only do you talk the talk, but you truly sound like you walk the walk as well. So often, this is not the case. I do know how difficult it can be to go through something with your child and still have faith. Granted my experience was only two weeks long (my youngest child was 6 1/2 weeks early so was in NICU for 2 weeks) but is was so very hard to trust that it was God's plan, and to trust even when I knew that His plan might include circumstances I wasn't going to like. I think it's so easy to forget that more often than not, we experience hard times and rough spots because Satan is attacking us. The biggest reason Satan attacks is because he wants to keep us from accomplishing something for the Lord. So keep your faith strong, knowing that the Lord will win in the end, and we will all be victorious! Blessings to you and my prayers as well for you and your family.
Thank you for the wonderful words of affirmation ladies. Everyone has a story of God's glory through adversity!
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