What if....Girls Understood the Meaning of Respect?

Today, my youngest daughter Hannah, was at a neighborhood daycamp. When I came to pick her up, she was hanging out with three other girls. One girl in particular, seemed to be the 'ring leader' who lead the taunting towards Hannah because of a water bottle incident that seemed to be taken care of by one of the camp leaders earlier. When these girls told me the story of what happened, I had Hannah apologize to the ring leader for what she did. The 'ring leader' wouldn't accept her apology and was whispering things to one of the other girls. I went on to say that it would be a better time for everyone if they all tried to get along, instead of bullying each other.

Hannah and I walked away and I said to her "Hannah, you don't have to hang out with girls who aren't nice to you." Courtney, the 'ring leader' heard me and actually gave me some lip about what I said. I think she thought she could get away with talking back to me (although I wasn't addressing her), because as I walked back to these three girls, Courtney scurried away behind a tree. I casually addressed all three girls and asked if they'd enjoy being bullied. No one answered. I left saying that more effort should go into getting along, rather than being mean.

As we drove away, I asked more details from Hannah about the water bottle incident. She told me that Courtney called her stupid. I quickly turned the car around and drove back to the camp. By that point, all the camp leaders were around the girls and Courtney was hiding away. One of the camp leaders asked if there was a problem and I said there was. I let them know of the name calling (I guess Courtney is a bit of a trouble maker) and said name calling is unacceptable. The camp leader let me know what she had Hannah do to rectify the water bottle incident and I told them I had her apologize to Courtney.

I walked away with my blood boiling from a 5 year-old girl! She showed how she doesn't respect authority figures and feels obliged to bully other kids. I'm amazed at how early these girls are learning to bully others. All I could do was pray that Courtney would have a positive environment to teach her what love and respect for self and others could really do.

What if...we really screw up?

Ask most people and they'll describe me as someone who's calm, peaceful and easygoing. In fact more than one person has told me that they can't imagine me ever being mad. But I can get angry. I just have a habit of saving it up for the people I love most in the world.

Last week I came home from work and was instantly irritated because I thought my teenage son should have done more to clean up. So I was snappish and surly and did passive-aggressive kinds of things, like grabbing the bag of trash and noisily slamming the door behind me as I took it out to our dumpster. When I calmed down a bit and was talking to Carman later on he said, "I always feel kind of scared when you come home because I never know if you're going to be mad at me." I felt so awful. My son was right. I take things out on him that sometimes have nothing to do with him. I snap at him for doing things I want him to intuitively know I want him to do without me asking him. I asked my son to forgive me. I asked God to forgive me and I told Carman that from now on we'll discuss expectations. Keeping vows are not always easy for me, but I made a vow to myself and God that I will never walk in the house after work and start yelling at my son. Ever. I feel like this vow is easy to keep - in my heart I have carved it in stone and signed it with my blood.

It is so humbling and difficult being human sometimes. I don't think I'll ever run out of lessons to learn while I'm on this planet. My son immediately gave me his forgiveness when I asked for it. I don't think I'd be able to make it through this journey without knowing a God of love and forgiveness. May Christ continue to flow through me, and may I constantly be reminded that my loved ones deserve more from me than just a few leftover drops of God's love and compassion.